Result: Win 3-1
Scorers: Ranga, Southy 2

Saturday morning had Meadowbank drenched in glorious sunshine, with the All Age 17 Pumas and their supporters trekking down to the riverside in search of that most elusive of prizes: A car park near the field. After some great moves, some great pressure and a bit of luck, a parking spot was secured, albeit in dubious circumstances. We quickly evacuated the car before one of the apartment blocks residents could complain, and headed to what surely was a walk in the park compared with the battle just won. Several things set the game apart from the onset. We had all players available, a good turnout for training (12 out of 15, a new record!) and Nicho turned up without first ’scouting out’ Holland or Hayes Reserve. Our usual pregame conversion practice was followed by an excellent pre-game speech by Clayts. ‘50/50 ball’ ‘Switch on’ and ‘Massive game’ all made their appearance, and Corey led us through our final prayer of the season. We fronted up on halfway to scope our opposition. Our record was against the Panthers was 0-2 loss, 0-0 draw, 2-0 win. Evens coming into the game, but we had form after dumping the No 1 Sharks from the finals and were playing with a full strength side for the first time since Round 3.
The game started a bit shakey for the Pumas. The backs had a few nervous moments, without a shot being offered though, before we settled down and started to pick apart the Panthers defense. Southy managed to get some clean ball with only 3 defenders to beat, which he did easily and slotted away to give us the advantage. Some great play from the Pumas followed, with our mids providing some good ball for the forwards. The small field meant that easy through balls were a lazy trap to fall into, but unlike the Panthers we kept it at our feet and worked our way into good position. Erik had a Rang cross tipped off his head and Stathis set Godby up for a drive, but we couldn’t get the second that we knew we’d need. The Panthers had two clear chances too, a mix up leading to a one-on-one that they pushed wide and Clayts making an awesome save to deny a close range shot. We went into the break 1-0 up and came out knowing we had to score to win it. 5 more dominant minutes followed, before Erik scored Southy’s second goal. From long range Gordon put his foot through the ball, which then Southy skillfully/accidently got falconed off his ear, wrong footing the keeper and sending us 2-0 up. Ryde heads dropped, and it wasn’t long before Ranga embarked on his trademark left wing run, right down to the goal line before slotting from a fine angle. 3-0 and we knew we had it. Windy and Fitz tried to get on the score sheet, and Stathis was denied by a great one handed save by their sweeper. Some people just aren’t meant to score fellas. The Panthers pulled one back with about 5 to go after our backs were caught out thinking of what to spend our $550+ fine jar on, but the whistle went with the AA17 completing a great day for the club, with 5 wins from 5 grand finals. Pumas can play soccer.
An awesome showing from the boys that typified our season. We played great soccer on the deck and communicated well. As over the last few games, our forwards were our first line of defense, and our backs the first line of attack. Little ball was wasted and the pressure across the field didn’t give the Panthers a sniff. The Pumas showed we were top cats, and the biggest cheer at the presentation was reserved for the Lions who took out the Pennant (we had to cheer some team… no one else was there…)
And thus our season came to a glorious end. It was one to remember for such exploits as our amazing team photo, record suspensions, incredible injuries and a lot of fun.

Each team member needs something said about them, so I’ll resurrect a piece I sent out as a pre-season motivation: Here they are in alphabetical order, note that Clayton is last, because I’m a jerk and will do anything to annoy him.
Tim ‘The Hater’ Fitzmaurice: New signing for the year, surprisingly, first in the list. The lack of surnames with letters A-E will be a target of recruitment next year. Has volunteered to be the subject of any ‘hating’ required by the team. Turns out he also hates lots of things including: Transformers, Parties at clubs, the sun.
Cameron ‘Cam’ Gage: Stallwart of defense, is experienced and an important member of the backline, despite the birth defect of being born without a left foot. Turned an ordinary start into his best season by far. Main pillar of our ‘defense is first line of attack’ strategy.
Nathan ‘Godby’ Godby: Poor nickname, definitely needs to work on that. Hardworking midfielder with a sweet shot. Speed and Cahill-esque leap made him a danger.
Dru ‘Cprey’ Maasepp: Important tower at centre back when not in Canberra. Hadn’t missed a game through injury in 5 years, then rolled his ankle. Two stellar games to end the year did a big part in giving us the Championship. Also has a deformity being born without a left foot.
Erik ‘Gordon’ Maasepp: This bloke is rubbish. When he’s not injuring important players at training, he’s scoring own goals or wasting everyone’s time with long boring emails. Scored the PHD Club Record for longest single suspension. The only thing he’s got going for him is tallness, because you can’t stuff that up. Needs help to be less of a jerk.
Aaron ‘KEEPERS!’ McGarvey: Superstar keeper. Can’t save a beach ball at training, but makes up for it during the game. Put his body on the line and copped a ruptured kidney, 3 week hospital stay and 1 year out of sport. Will be welcomed back next year by Clayts for sure.
Ben ‘Skipper’ McGarvey: Became an expert at the expensive handball-in-the-box play. Managed to rack up $50 in fines despite being a back. Most courageous member of the team. You will not find at tougher nut in the GHFA. Also writes poetry.
Ben ‘Nicho’ Nicholson: This superstar was an expensive off season purchase that the Prems will regret letting go. Mid-season form slump saw him come roaring back when it mattered most. Great skillful foil to the blundering Gordon in centre mid.
Ben ‘Priddy’ Pridmore: Yet another Ben, originality seriously lacking in the parents this year. Another expensive off season buy who was coming back from an ankle injury. Knee injury midseason ruled him out and signalled a tough time for the Pumas. For some reason also works at JustMats along with most PHCS graduates.
Nathan ‘Stathis’ Stathis: Another Puma in sore need of a nickname. Used his size well in tackles, turned into a Viduka style forward creating some great chances for his team mates. Runs Cam close for turning an average start into an awesome season.
Timothy ‘Southy’ Southcott: Longest hair on the team by a distance, looking for sponsorship from Nivea or Pantein. Our goal scoring machine who attracts negative attention from fat balding backs who are jealous of his looks and locks. Disappeared to Europe for 4 weeks but still ran close for the Golden Boot.
Michael ‘Ranga’ Townsend: Was the last remaining ginga on the team after Erik’s horrific hair colour job has grown out. Luckily Myles joining gave him a friend. Powerful left boot, luckily for us is a day walker. Loves a run down the left wing and threading from a fine angle, I think he squared the ball to Erik once this season. Won the Golden Boot with 13 though so I guess he’s okay…
Myles ‘Ranga 2.0′ Sutherland: Mid season signing to cover Clayts demotion to keeper & Priddy’s injury. Battled a sore groin and tender heartlidge most of the season, but brought some class into the mids. Backed up his fellow rang by spotting him his fines on collection day.
Pouwel ‘Windy’ Wind: New signing, has a good shot that keeps low, unlike everyone else on the team. Played for the team in an un-preferred position at back due to lack of numbers, but was a quality mid when games allowed him up there, but he’s studying to be an architect so I don’t like him.
James ‘Sloth’ Vilimaa: Another new signing, only man on the team who can catch Southy in the hair stakes. Has excellent dreads and played well with Corey at centre back. Racked up his first card and suspension, but needs to improve his vocabulary if he hopes to knock Gordon off his perch.
Clayton ‘Clayts’ Waters: Where do I start? Fancies himself as a key player and often refers to himself in the 3rd person like he’s the subject of a sports report. Our last Puma who was born without a left foot, his favorite activities include apologizing to the team and fetching balls from the basketball courts. Thinks hitting all 3 posts in 1 game is an enviable achievement. Wasteful in front of goal and a liability in defense, the only way this kid could play any worse is if Penny turns up to watch a game - then get ready for new depths. To be fair, did step up to keep after Az went out, and did a superb job. 8 clean sheets and third best defense in All Age not bad for a second choice.

There, I’ve wasted as least 20 minutes on this rubbish that I won’t get back. If you didn’t enjoy it, feel free to hate on Fitzy for it.